2018-08-15 / Editorials

Adventures in snakes

All That’s Fit to Print
Brenda Wall

Last week, some northerner found a boa constrictor under the hood of the car. The police came, extracted the snake and all was well. A few days before that, in a different northern place, a woman spotted a rattlesnake crawling under her car. She called the venomous snake savers and the can, caught the snake and carried to a snake sanctuary of sorts. Only in the north.

Once on our square, someone saw a snake crawl up into someone’s car. The someone was in the courthouse. There was a lot of discussion on how to proceed. No one had a hoe. Someone suggested to look under the car but no one had any desire to slide on their back under a strange car to see where the snake was. That someone did not volunteer.

A different someone suggested leaving a note on the door, but that brought on another discussion about where it might be and what if it grabbed the car owner by the ankle while she was reading the note. I think nobody has any sticky notes.

Then everybody wandered off and went on their way. I never did find how it ended.

The difference between the stories in the first paragraph and next story? A hoe.

A Tennessee couple who, while riding down the highway, had a pretty big oak snake crawl up on their windshield. In true 2011 fashion, the entire event was filmed and posted on Youtube. Watching it is like riding along in the car wondering what in the devil that snake is going to do next.

You can also hear the shrieks and commentary of the driver and her passenger as they try to figure out what to do. I think they were city folk because they thought the snake was a giant water moccasin. Its itty bitty head was a giveaway of something less forbidding.

I felt a little sorry for the snake. It had to be terrified, if snakes can be such a thing. It finally crawled around the side mirror and fell off onto the highway. I have a feeling that things really went downhill for the snake after that happened.

A friend had a similar experience only her car snake crawled from the windshield to the roof of the car. She was the only traffic on the road, so after some fancy driving which included speeding up and slamming on brakes, she rolled the snake right off the back of the car, plop, onto the highway.

On a final note, I read about a Harvard research study where the little lizards were blown around by a leaf blower to figure why they don’t blow away in hurricanes (something about big feet). Now up north you can pick up little lizards with a leaf blower and you save big old snakes.

Different folks.

Have a good week.

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