The high school girl reached the door about a half-step ahead of me. But she didn't reach for the door. She waited.

I quickly realized she was waiting on me to open the door for her.

It surprised me a bit. But I liked it. I liked that a young girl still expected a man to open the door for her.

I reached out, opened the door and motioned for her to go inside.

"Thank you so much," she said cheerfully. It was much nicer than the insincere, grunted thanks that so many women utter when you hold the door for them.

I suppose I should be grateful for the grunted thanks. Sometimes you don't even get so much as a nod when you hold the door open for a woman, especially if that woman is my age or younger.

It shouldn't be a big deal, and I don't expect it to be a big deal. It's just one little act of kindness. I don't expect a parade down Green Street for such a simple thing. But a simple act of kindness ought to be repaid with a simple acknowledgement.

Somewhere along the way, though, we lost our sense of chivalry. It got caught up in the women's movement, and suddenly some women thought it was condescending for a man to open the door for a woman.

When I was in my 20s, I asked a woman on a date. After I had held the car door for her and then restaurant door, she informed me she didn't want me to open any more doors for her.

"I'm capable of opening a door myself," she said.

We didn't go on a second date. I chalked the experience up to the fact that she was a New Jersey American and wasn't raised right.

She just didn't understand. I don't hold a door open because I think women are weak and can't handle it. I'm a modern guy. I believe women are smart, capable and every bit as able to do a job as well as a man.

No, I do it, quite simply, because it's a nice thing to do. (For the record, this isn't a sexist thing. I'll hold the door open for a man, too, if I get to the door before him.)

To be honest, I do it mostly because I'm afraid my Aunt Cecile will come back and haunt me if I don't.

Aunt Cecile was a perfect Southern lady, more steel magnolia than Southern belle. She was a Navy WAVE during World War II. After the war, she became one of the nation's first female postmasters. They called them "postmistresses" in those days, a term my aunt hated.

"I'm no-damn-body's mistress," she used to say.

But she believed that there were certain ways that a man should act. He should stand when a woman enters a room. He should remove his hat when he comes in the house. He should open a door for a woman.

After my experience with my date all those years ago, I learned that where you stand on the whole door-opening question is largely, but not always, a generational thing.

In general, older women still seem to appreciate the simple gesture of standing when they walk in a room or holding a door. Younger women not only don't expect you to open a door for them, they sort of look at you funny when you do it.

But that generalization is not always true. I still remember the day not long ago when a friend and I went to lunch. As we left the restaurant, my friend held the door so a group of older ladies could enter. Not a one of them acknowledged him.

That's why I was so excited when that high school girl expected me to open the door for her, then seemed genuinely grateful that I did.

Maybe chivalry ain't quite dead yet.

Mitch Clarke is executive editor of The Times in Gainesville, Ga. He can be reached at mclarke@ gainesvilletimes. com.