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All That's Fit to Print On more than one occasion, I've been told "even a monkey can do that." It usually involved something I thought was going to be pretty difficult. The combination of the monkey remark and a hearty reading of "The Little Engine That Could" usually got me past whatever roadblock I might have constructed. As it turns out, monkeys, or at least chimpanzees, might be smarter and better than humans at some things. Besides the obvious of swinging by one arm while peeling a banana with their feet, monkeys are also really good at remembering images. A chimpanzee beat a bunch of college students hands down in remembering a series of numbers and white boxes flashed on a screen. This was, of course, part of a study. I don't know how much it cost, but anyone who ever watched a Tarzan movie knows to never discount the chimpanzee. I should note that the chimpanzee in the study was young and when the same experiment was conducted with that chimpanzee's mother, the college students won. While the scientists think age was a factor, I think the mother had better things to do. She figured out that she could do poorly at it and get on with her business, sort of like playing a quick game of Candyland with the kids. I'm not sure how this connects, but it will come to me. The Georgia Lottery Commission pays out almost $3 million dollars in bonuses to its employees each year. All 260 employees receive a bonus with the lottery's top dog raking in $236,500 on top of her $135,000 annual salary. When the lottery was set up, it was decided it should operate under a separate commission with a board rather than operate as a part of state government. As such, the employees get by with things other state employees can't do. Like get bonuses. According to the lottery lady, it's important to keep the employees motivated so that the lottery will be successful. Who is she kidding? Selling the lottery is like shooting fish in a barrel. It sells itself. Just stop in any convenience store in the state and you'll witness at least one lottery sale during your visit. It's as much a part of some people's day as the sun coming up. I'm betting that $3 million in employee bonuses is not what makes the lottery successful. It's fools like you and me who think a buck is a small price to pay for a chance at millions. Last fiscal year, the lottery raked in $3.4 billion. Around $850 million went to fund HOPE scholarships and pre-k classrooms. The rest, I guess, went to the cost of running the thing and keeping the employees motivated.
I wonder if that chimpanzee would be good at playing the lottery. Shoot, I'll bet he could even run it. Now that's a study that might pay off.
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