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Walter Cronkite, where are you? Monday afternoon I wandered across news commentators discussing the cleavage of presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton. Yes, although larger and more interesting stories were available, it was the former first lady's attire that took center stage for some news pundits. Could there be other stories to rival the one that truly made me believe the phrase "boob tube" was accurate? You bet. Researchers have decided that we westerners are dooming the planet because we like flush toilets. Apparently, folks associated with the National Environmental Research Institute in Denmark believe that until we come to terms with our reliance and dependence on flushing toilets, that the world's water supply is in danger. I won't go into too much detail on the report because it wasn't very pleasant. But, outhouses and composting and some other really gross things were discussed in their study on the need for radical redesign of toilets. I don't mind saying that I will give up a lot. I don't have an electric can opener. I can hang my clothes on the clothes line if I have to. I'll give up the dishwasher and shoot, if it's for the environment I'll stop using the stove. We can eat sandwiches. But, I'm not giving up my flushing toilet so Al Gore better not even go there in his save the planet campaign. Some city in California is about to put pigeons on birth control pills. I'm guessing they will distribute the medicine through feed. I can't imagine poking pills down all those little throats. We know, of course, that one of the main problems cities with booming pigeon populations face is that pigeons don't use flushing toilets, if you get my drift. Isn't it funny how news stories all seem connected? Scientists in Norway are looking for people with hairless inner arms to volunteer to let jelly fish sting them. The study is for a sun screen that also acts as a jelly fish deterrent. The volunteers will have to let the jelly fish sting them on both arms, one protected with the studied sun screen and one with ordinary sun screen. Volunteers get three free bottles of sun screen. Wahoo. Where do I sign up? What is it with pythons these days? One showed up last month in a car engine and now a woman in Arkansas found one in a cabinet in her house. She didn't use a hoe either. She called authorities who nabbed the snake and gave it to the son of a firefighter. And last, but certainly not least, Gator the pet pig was gunned down by a Bibb County deputy. The black pot bellied pig was erroneously reported to be a wild hog by a woman who discovered him rooting around in her flower bed. She apparently was new to the neighborhood and didn't know that the pig was really Gator, the beloved pet of neighbors. Being a pet hog is a dangerous proposition.
Sometimes, news folks can't see the forest for the trees.
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